Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

never play flip cup with pint glasses

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

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(518): View more from New York

...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.

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(206): View more from Washington

Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.

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(804): View more from Virginia

What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.

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(207): View more from Maine

Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.

(1-207): View more from Maine

Accurate.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick

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