my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
