Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize