so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
im on a boat
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