He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
