Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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