you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
