I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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