her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
