I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
