You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
