she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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