somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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