Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
