Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
