just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it glows. i had to have it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
