don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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