Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
