And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
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Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward