I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?