the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Floor bacon is actually really good