I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life