Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
