Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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