I can tuck mytits in my pants
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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