everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize