I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
