I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
