just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love how my cats smell like pot.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
