Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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