I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
