i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
