we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
