Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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