I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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