I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
