It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
