I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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