I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
