He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
try to milk me bitch
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