She is in my trunk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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