im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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