oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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