Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
