You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it