my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am