My friends, they love my intelligence
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.