people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
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He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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