Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.