R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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