Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?