I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
