i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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