I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
