Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You smell like stripper and shame
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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