i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
