I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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