I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
