I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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