she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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