last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
