what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
