Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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