well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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