I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
