you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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