he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I supernannyed him into submission
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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